a bit too much meta for my taste
I don't really have strong feelings about Meta because I know it's evil and anything it does is not only for profit but for control and monopoly. Wasn't gonna do anything about it, because as a two user instance admin why bother.
I'm actually *all for* full text search on public (the globe kind) posts in search-enabled profiles.
I don't think it's possible to somehow limit access or indexing of publicly available information and I strongly believe it's counterproductive and harmful (by false sense of security) to discuss any on-protocol measures in that context.
I do however have strong feelings about this serial abuser smelling "we know what's good for you" bullshit that stux and supernovae are spewing.
And I do think it's possible and constructive to call out Musk-wannabe assholes and limit your own exposure to them.
So yeah my two user instance will be defederating universeodon, mstdon.social, and whatever other crap these guys are running (because a single instance is not enough "growth" I guess?). Really hoping we can do without a post about how loud.computer admins are abusing our (my) privileges or whatever.
re stux bs, mh-, IATA
The thing is, I have strong feelings about this not because I am the victim of psychological abuse. I *am* the asshole.
I learned of the DARVO acronym very recently, but I've been good at it since I've learned to talk. It's a twisted reflexive defense mechanism that somehow just exists in me. For any complaint the *first* thing in my mind is reasons why it's their own fault.
It took much longer to learn to keep that inside and say I'm sorry instead. It's still very hard, but I don't want to be that person. I don't want to hurt people just because it's the easier option.
So yeah, I see you. And if you choose to do be that person, in public, with thousands of followers, then fuck you. You shouldn't be in charge of a large instance. You shouldn't be in charge of anything.
re stux bs, mh-, IATA
@virtulis same! But then again, it may be natural?.. Natural for males? Idk. Ever since I've started recognising these behaviours in myself (they still happen, but it's fair to label the frequency as "almost never"), I've started recognising these behaviours in many other people while observing confrontations.
I think that since our consciousness is basically all we have and we're telling ourselves stories most of the time rather than perceiving (this is more or less proven too, see Kahneman et al. and follow-up works of behaviour scientists etc), modus operandi that's the most evolutionarily feasible is the idea of "I am the most important". It takes a lot of adjustments and a lot of getting rewarded for altruistic behaviours to unlearn this. I think that DARVO really stems from it. When "I" offend, "I" need to reverse because "I" am "good", "the best", even.
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